With the trade deadline less than a month away (Feb. 21), many have begun wildly speculating potential trade moves. Most of these trade theories have absolutely no logic tied to them and frankly make no sense, which inspired me because all we do is wildly speculate here at the Blue Collar Blog. So today I sat down with our NBA Trade Expert (myself) and went over a list of potential trades that could happen before the deadline. Here is what I came up with:
Toronto Raptors Get: Danny Granger and Gerald Green
Pacers Get: Terrence Ross and Jonas Valančiūnas
Summary: Obviously this seems like a viable trade. Even seems like it would benefit the Pacers which I can agree with, but this trade would actually cause the apocalypse. I’m not a physicist but I am pretty sure that if 3 black holes (Granger, Green, Gay) occupy the same space that existence ends. If this trade goes through here are a few team stats you will see for the Raptors (FG Att/game: 943.2, Pts Against/game: 145.4) They would go down as the worst defensive team in history.
Charlotte Bobcats Get: Danny Granger
Pacers Get: Michael Jordan
Summary: This trade actually gets pushed through by the Bobcats’ minority owners Bob Johnson and Nelly (Yes, Nelly owns the Bobcats. No, Charlotte is not mentioned in “Country Grammar”) in a statement similar to this, “Take him, as a player or even a freaking water boy. Just please don’t let him ruin our team any longer.” Jordan would then come out of retirement and average about 12 pts/game off the bench for the season. Later the NBA would cite Metamucil as a PED and add it to the banned substance list.
This last trade is the most logical I have come up with. All teams involved benefit.
ESPN Gets: Danny Granger
Pacers Get: Jalen Rose and Hannah Storm
Summary: The Pacers really benefit here getting a player that still has skill and his girlfriend (rumored*) and only lose a soul sucking leech. ESPN absorbs a large contract but also get a player in his prime (also rumored) to report from the sidelines. Granger would then complain more and more about his new team giving them more publicity (which is basically all that teams wants, a lot like the New York Jets). All in all this trade will likely happen.
*The Jalen Rose/Hannah Storm sexual relations rumor was started in this blog post.