As I said in my last blog I’m a father of 2 little girls. My oldest is 4 and the other is 1. They both enjoy spending time with me sitting on the couch and watching football and I enjoy the company of them as well. Which leads to week 1 Monday Night football my New York Jets visiting the Detroit Lions. All offseason all the analysts are hyping up Darnold but I dont buy it. I personally wanted Bridgewater to start because I hate USC QBS (you know ever since the infamous buttfumble).
So to set the scene it’s 7:29 I crack open a cold beer, I’ve got both of my daughters by me. Jets get the ball first and the messiah of the jets organization walks out to the field. The snap the ball fake the hand off Darnold rolls right and does the thing ever QB knows not to do and throws cross body. Wouldn’t ya know the fucking thing is picked off for a TD. FIRST FUCKING PLAY OF THE SEASON IS A PICK GOD DAMN 6. 10 seconds into the season I’m ready to end it. When my wife hears the new words these girls learned in those few seconds I’ll most likely be sleeping on the couch but the motherfucking jets bring out the worst in me.
Being a Jets and Mets fan I’m miserable all the damn time so I decide to continue punishing myself by leaving the game on. And dammit I’m glad I did because all around they actually played great (by jets standards at least).
It was a new look for me. My children have never seen me smile watching the jets before. My oldest was doing the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets chant. It was a huge bonding moment in my house.
After the rout of the lions I was left thinking either the jets played that good or the lions are just trash. I didn’t care though I was in a great mood. Even when I tried putting moves on my wife and got shot down I was still pumped about the jets. But as I laid in bed unable to fall asleep it dawned on me. I need to smother my kids in their sleep before week 2 so they can die as the rarest type of person, happy jets fans. Seriously you ask any Jets fan we are all dead on the inside. As a father I won’t be able to deal with the sadness that is bound to occur if these girls grow up jets fans. I know your probably thinking “did AD just say he is going to murder his kids” yes I did it’s the most humane thing to do it’s like euthanizing your sick elderly dog ,it sucks because you’ve grown attached but you also do t want them to suffer.