Basic Bitches

Is there something in the water these days that make all women basic? My almost 4 year old daughter asked for a pumpkin spice candle at the store. She wears Uggs. My wife took her shopping and bought her a little north face. I took her to the Apple store with me to get my watch fixed and I handed her my iPad to shut her up and she refused to use it because the screen was cracked and it embarrassed her to be seen with it. Mind you this is the screen she broke during a hissy fit. She demanded and screamed because I didn’t buy a new iPad then. I like to think I make a good living providing for my family but I am absolutely terrified for when she gets older. Is it to soon to have her get a job. Again she is almost 4 but she is acting like she is 13. How much longer can I go before I smack the basic out of her. Answer is not much longer. The second I see this kid with a Pumpkin Spice Latte or PSL as the Basic Bitches refer to it as I promise you you will read about a murder suicide.

Disclaimer: I am not going to kill my daughters and then commit suicide. It is just satire. I will add this to the bottom of all my blogs where I make a joke just so I don’t have the Child Protection Agency knocking on my door

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