Yes, you read that right. No, I didn't hit my head and believe it's Christmas time. I'm talking about motherfucking tax return season. MY CHRISTMAS. I work my ass off all year long and my family takes every penny I make. This is my time. The only chance I can look my wife in the … Continue reading It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
After a long hiatus, your favorite terrible father is back. Having kids really really puts a damper on your blogging but this motherfucker just filled his adderall prescription and I'm ready to go. Today I'm going to give you a list of the worst shows your future kids will watch and why they are so … Continue reading I’m back
I currently lay here with the screen getting a little blurry and having to constantly backspace to fix my typos, sick as a dog. And it got me thinking, I really take advantage of feeling healthy when I'm not sick. Every day I bitch and moan about other things that shouldn't matter until the day … Continue reading Being sick sucks
Ok so I've really been slacking lately on here so here goes. Blog #1 Parents at movie theater. So I took my oldest to the movies today to see the grinch. As we are waiting for the movie to start a group of 8-10 kids walk in with ages ranging what looked to be 6-10 … Continue reading 3 blogs in 1 because I’m a lazy piece of shit.
Fuck you Lando. I went to target for some dress clothes I needed and goodfellows failed me. Searched for 30 minutes and couldn't find anything for big men. 30 seconds in Walmart and found everything I needed. George collection > Goodfellows. Suck it you stupid hymen. I will agree though me and Dickey are fat … Continue reading Rebuttal to no free ads
Ok so I'll get straight to the point on this one. How does a grown man make new friends. Yeah I have these cocksuckers who also write on this page (excluding G-Mac because fuck that guy) but now that we are all getting old and washed up, mainly me, we don't see each other and … Continue reading How does a person make friends?
I'm not sure what made me wake up with a positive attitude today, I could be suffering from a dangerous brain tumor that is making me delusional but who's gonna complain. The psychoticly happy outlook, in my opinion, is due to the beautiful time of the year we find ourselves in. I'm not talking about … Continue reading We Are Officially Into The Greatest Time Of The Year
Is there something in the water these days that make all women basic? My almost 4 year old daughter asked for a pumpkin spice candle at the store. She wears Uggs. My wife took her shopping and bought her a little north face. I took her to the Apple store with me to get my … Continue reading Basic Bitches
I'm an asshole. I'm well aware of this fact, and honestly, I'm kind of content with it. I don't expect to change, and I'm fully aware of the repercussions of being this way. I know that this isn't going to always make things easy, but it does make me self-aware enough to recognize that this … Continue reading Hot Take: The Text Break Up Is Totally OK.
Alright so since most of you have no idea who I am I'll give you a few details. I'm 6'5 316 lbs of Bearded man meat. I also have what the ladies refer to as "Resting Bitch Face". I just look angry all the time apparently. I can't count how many times I've been asked … Continue reading Why People?